Ash and Suz's Rules for Life

These are a few rules that we have come up with and posted back and forth on Facebook throughout our college career.  The list will most certainly grow with time, seeing as it's a bit short.  Also, pay no attention to the numbers.  They don't really mean anything.

Rule 3: It is socially acceptable to press the "eject button" under certain conditions* *see section 1B
   *Section 1B: When an entire carton of ice cream (or cookies, etc.) is consumed while under the influence, when Tylenol PM is taken before a spontaneous night of drinking, and before being naked or partially naked.

Rule 4: Emotions expressed while under the influence are to be disregarded the following day by everyone involved.

Rule 6: Upon leaving the apartment before a night out, the correct response to "Do I look ok?" is either "Yes, a 14+" or for special occasions "You look prettier than a magnolia in May."

Rule 14: If a shot is offered, take it. Your looks will only get you free drinks for a few years.

Rule 17: Size and sexual ability under no circumstances may compensate for overly intense interests in subjects that are socially unacceptable, particularly when the perpetrator does not attempt to keep such interests hidden.

Rule 22: If the slutty cheetah dress is worn, the corresponding zebra dress shall accompany it.

Rule 32: Shoes, beer, and sober rides are legitimate currency for at least the next 3 years.

Rule 36: Shaving must be timed with extreme accuracy to prevent five o'crotch shadow (term coined by Suzie) from preventing a moment of passion/bad decision making. 

Rule 37: Lack of shaving can be used as an incentive to prevent said bad decision making.

Rule 44: Calories consumed while under the influence of alcohol cannot be held against the consumer the following day.

Rule 47: No free passes unless you drink out of the appropriate cup prior to indecent actions.

Rule 53: Under no circumstance are you allowed to date or sleep with a man who sports a peacoat.

Rule 54: Calories are irrelevant when cooking or baking for other people.