This is going to be a very interesting post. The material covered in today's blog isn't what girls normally talk about. I'm going where no woman has gone before. But whatever. This is an issue that needs to be addressed, and I think I'm the girl for the job.
Huge pet peeve: Men that don't fart in front of you. Men that you're DATING that don't fart in front of you eventually. I don't mean that he has to rip ass on the first, second, or third date, but once you've seen his penis, the time has come.
Men, being the more rugged, low maintenance sex, need to understand that it is their role in the relationship to initiate the farting phase. Not to say that I've never been the one to bite the bullet, but it's so much easier if the one who scratches their balls goes first. It doesn't have to be a train horn or a lethal weapon, just a simple fart to demonstrate the fact that you're comfortable enough around the person to be a human being with normal bodily functions. A fart-icebreaker, so to speak.
Once, I had been dating a guy for about 3 months. We were in a Facebook official relationship and were pretty comfortable around each other, or so I thought. It was about 11 pm, and I was sitting on his bed working on homework. He was sitting on his futon checking email. He farted. I didn't think anything of it, but he APOLOGIZED PROFUSELY. For a fart! He was incredibly embarrassed about something that honestly, no one gives a damn about. We were broken up within the next two weeks. Sure, you could say that the breakup had nothing to do with the fart. But I know deep down that it played some kind of role.
The moral of the story? If you want to strengthen your relationship, let one rip. If you want to ruin your relationship, make a huge embarrassing deal out of a normal bodily function. And if you want to sit around in agony squeezing your butt cheeks together trying to hide the fact that you're experiencing gut wrenching cramps from gas backup, don't fart at all. The choice is yours.
-Suz
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